Love Stories and Love Letters : Letter to A friend
My estranged husband came yesterday to make reconciliation and take me away for a holiday.
In silence we went down to the car. While Nick stowed the cases in the back, I propped the note on the hallstand where the landlady will be sure to notice it. Then I slammed the heavy door shut.
There was a strange sensation in being back in the passenger car, next to Nick, with the small remembered familiarities suddenly beginning to happen.
The automatic reminder “Fasten your seat belt”’ the twist of his body as he reversed to clear the vehicle parked in front before he pulled away from the herb, the way he flicked down the indicator with the chopping movement of the edge of his palm and then the faint smell of hair stuff and after-shave coming momentarily with his nearness, all combining to awaken sleeping memories.
With abrupt movement I turned to state out of the window determined to maintain my detachment. The past was past and my hard-won peace of mind demanded that it should remain so.
If Nick noticed my withdrawal, he gave no sign and made no attempt to break silence until his car approached a supermarket with parking space.
He swung into the turning, straight into a vacant place right beside a check-out exit and said briefly, “The cupboard’s bare.”
The very routine of trailing along the aisle, steering the jangling skeletal trolley to the accompanying flow of piped music, while Nick tossed foodstuffs into the trolley brought a renewed sense of unreality. It had all happened so quickly.
For two years I had lived alone, shopped alone and managed my own life alone. And now those two years had vanished in less than a day.
It couldn’t be true. Life didn’t happen like that.
Nick’s murmuring that coffee seemed to cost a hell of a lot more and giving a faint whistle when the check-out girl gave him the tally failed to evoke the obvious response from me that the cost of living had risen during the two years of his absence and instead induced a feeling of hysteria.
The emotions in these two years had become the unreality.
Suddenly I felt married again.
Love Stories and Love Letters
to HOME PAGE