The YOU Element in Business Letters

The YOU Element in Business Letters :

YOU would probably leap up in burning wrath if, tomorrow, you could see your sales letters kindling a hundred morning fires. At least you would want to know why your sales letters interest only the man who empties the wastebasket. You might bring your correspondents to the carpet, you might quiz and you might threaten, but it is a ten-to-one shot that they couldn’t answer when you were all through.

If you are to solve the most perplexing and yet obvious fault of your sales letters, you must sit downand pick apart your paper salesmen. As you analyze your correspondence you will be impressed with one fact—that there is too much “we” in the beginning of the sales missive. If you push your investigation into the body of your letters, underscoring each “we” as you come to it, you will find that the writer has literally peppered his story with the objectionable word. There is the answer to your question.

From beginning to end, the average letter consists of, “We” have “so and so” to offer; “We” contemplate this, and “We” intend to do that. But what do I care about what “We” do? How are my interests affected by a statement regarding “ours”? The closest thing to you is “you.” The never-ending source of attraction and concern to me, is “me.”

And thus the correspondent kills a hearing because he begins talking about himself instead of “you”. For example, a clothier writes me a letter: “We are showing the most attractive line of springand summer woolens in the city. The cut of every garment is the latest and up-to-the-minute in style.”

The YOU Element in Business Letters