Typically Wrong Business Letter
We beg to call your attention to our goggles.
If you drive an automobile, you will find these goggles indispensable. They are also useful for general outdoor wear.
They are made with our patented nose piece which allows perfect adjustment. We are sure that you will be immensely pleased with these after wearing them. We have hundreds of satisfied customers.
We aim at all times to carry a large stock of these goggles, as well as a full line of optical goods and respectfully solicit your patronage which we assure you we will endeavor to merit to the fullest extent.
This letter is of a type frequently seen in wastebaskets. It has neither personality nor salesmanship in it. A salesman who talked along this line would never bring in an order. He would no more be listened to than this letter would be read.
Never start out any business letter by begging anything. No man likes a beggar. Moreover, a business man should not have to beg.
The second paragraph indicates that the writer does not even know whether or not the reader would have occasion to use motor goggles. This immediately brands the letter as a circular, for if it were a personal communication this point would be known.
The reader does not care what the writer is sure of. What he wants to know is what he can be sure of — why or how it will be of advantage or profit to him to own a pair of goggles. That they have hundreds of satisfied customers does not prove that he will become one if he purchases.
The last paragraph is filled with mere generalities that mean absolutely nothing…consequently the reader does nothing.
Typically Wrong Business Letter :
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